


I Kiss You and You Fade Away

by Empty_Scribbles



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:55:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2287517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empty_Scribbles/pseuds/Empty_Scribbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 5x24 AU. Blair and Dan POV after Blair's decision. Not very Chuck friendly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Kiss You and You Fade Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lusimeles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusimeles/gifts).



> This is what I was going to originally post instead of the Hollywood AU. Sorry if the multiple POV's is confusing. I don't typically like switching POV's in a chapter.

Summer is over and everything is back to where it began. Both Dan and his father are alone, reminded of their place in the world. He spent the summer writing the truth about the Upper East Side, deciding it was better not to hold back. If they would be cut by his words, then that would be rather unfortunate because he has decided to only write the truth and not let his emotions affect the direction of the story. After all, he has nothing but his writing now.  
  
He stands by the front door of the loft and shuts his eyes before taking a deep breath, trying not to think of this past spring. When he finally opens the door, he sees the living room before him. It’s clean and arranged in the same way he left it, but there are some traces of his father. Like the guitar angled against the wall.  
  
“Son?”  
  
He looks over to see his father hesitantly approaching from the master bedroom.  
  
“How’s it going?” Dan asks and drops his duffle bag on top of the rug of the floor.  
  
“Oh you know, just a couple nights of drunk dialing and my wounds have healed” Rufus answers, leading Dan to smile. “Why don’t you sit down?” Rufus takes a seat on the stool before gesturing him forward. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you”  
  
Not many of his so called friends have called him to check up to see how they were doing in regards to the aftermath of Lily. Serena did visit, but she was happy about it and thought it was another sign for them to try again. It’s sad to know he has spent the past six years in the Upper East Side and yet he has received such few calls regarding it.  
  
He joins his father by the kitchen island and nods. “You look better”  
  
“This story you’re writing just doesn’t seem like something you would do” Rufus notes, eyes filled with concern. “Tell me what’s going on”  
  
“It started out as revenge, but now the book is my way of moving forward. Obviously I’m still upset, but I’m deeply saddened as well. I can’t picture myself wanting to ever talk to her” Dan admits and his eyes strain away into deep thought. “Maybe I was naïve to think we’re friends”  
  
He wishes she had the decency to break up with him in person, but instead, she ditched him and left for France. Later, Gossip Girl revealed she was in Monaco to see Chuck and the thought always breaks his heart all over again.  
  
At least now he doesn’t have a reason to feel guilty about his past indiscretions.  
  
Rufus leans in, lips curving slightly. “Do you want to know what I remember?” Dan lets his eyes fall on his father. “I remember a girl being alone and desperately needing someone to listen. And maybe she doesn’t realize it, but you know what you did for that girl and that’s all that matters”  
  
Maybe there’ll be a day when Dan will be able to think that way, but right now he can’t because there is only bitterness on the tip of his tongue.  
  
  
  
  
  
Blair’s back from Paris feeling stronger than ever. She’s with the man she was meant for and together, they will rule the UES. It’s a tad below being a Princess, but it will suffice. They have rarely spoken to one another since that night in Monaco, but that is because their focus has remained on their respective careers.  
  
She sets foot in the empty Penthouse and frowns when she realizes Dorota isn’t on duty.  
  
Blair looks over to the Bellboy. “Please take my luggage up to the bedroom on the far right”  
  
“No problem Ms. Waldorf” The Bellboy nods and does as Blair asks.  
  
She sighs, standing in the foyer alone and thinking about the last time she was there. Serena was rather upset and the memory deeply saddens her. She grabs the framed picture of them kissing the air and takes it in for a long moment.  
  
There isn’t much in her life without her lively best friend.  
  
  
  
  
  
His father fills him in on Serena’s condition. Apparently, they found her overdosed in some random apartment of a druggie in Los Angeles. He feels partly to blame considering he gave her a good tongue lashing the last time they saw one another.  
  
He arrives in the hospital where Serena is staying because no matter what has happened in the past, Serena will always be a significant part of his life. She may not be his first love, but she is probably his most substantial romantic relationship.  
  
Not to his surprise, Blair’s sitting there in the room, by Serena’s bedside and being the loyal friend she has always been to Serena. There must have been something about him she didn’t particularly like, because when Dan looks back on his relationship with Blair, it doesn’t really seem like a real genuine friendship anymore.  
  
He knocks on the doorframe lightly, catching both girls attention. Blair’s mouth parts open in surprise, but he doesn’t get a great look because he can’t stand to stare at her. So his eyes go to a weak smiling Serena.  
  
Dan leans against the doorframe, staring shyly down at the square floor tiles. “Would it be alright if I had a moment alone with Serena?”  
  
Blair rises to her feet and swallows hard. “Of course”  
  
She brushes past him, chin tilted up high and proud. Dan on the other hand attempts to ignore that intoxicating perfume of hers. He sniffs and pushes himself off the doorframe. Serena is very quiet, making him more nervous. He shoves his hands in his pockets and finally looks at her.  
  
“I’m sorry” Dan says and a lump forms in his throat as he watches her eyes begin to get watery.  
  
“Me to” Serena barley whispers and sniffs.  
  
“How did this happen?” Dan breaks eye contact and reaches for the cool railing at the end of the bed nervously.  
  
“I don’t know” Serena shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my way of dealing with things I suppose”  
  
Dan feels for her, he really does. Spending the summer in Rome taught him that people have their own way of dealing with heartbreak. His way of dealing with it is separating himself from anything that reminds him of Blair and fucking the shit out of Georgina, or anything else that moves.  
  
“Well I won’t take any more of your time. I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you were okay” He explains, becoming overwhelmed with guilt.  
  
However overly dramatic it sounds, there is the possibility that Serena could have actually died because of him.  
  
“No, you should stay” Serena protests and offers him a welcoming smile.  
  
She has always been too kind to him. He recalls that day when Serena pretended to be his girlfriend for Blair, and now that he thinks of it, she must have been in so much pain, but she did it and showed no indication of being hurt. It sometime makes him question his passion for Blair.  
  
“I can’t…I…um…I have a meeting with my agent” Dan stutters and meets her eyes. “If you ever need anything…you know”  
  
She smiles sadly and her features soften. “I know”  
  
“Also, you might want to tell Blair the truth about what we did, because if you don’t and let her take care of you, there is no way she will ever forgive you” Dan tells her.  
  
“And you don’t care if she finds out?” Serena questions.  
  
Dan’s lips curve slightly. “I have nothing to lose in this”  
  
He backs away and gives her a final nod before turning around. When he decided to go after Serena’s best friend, everything changed forever. And now that his father is divorced from Lily, there’s no excuse to see each other anymore.  
  
  
  
  
  
When Blair sees Dan stepping out of the hospital room, she rises from her chair and clutches at her purse tightly. Oh thank god, he cut his hair.  
  
She knows he’s angry and doesn’t want to speak to her, so she goes back to the room without looking at him. It came as a shock when he didn’t answer any of her emails, or phone calls for that matter. She thought he would have been over it by now, but if he chooses to act this way, then there is nothing she can do. Dan was a good friend, but he’s no Chuck Bass.  
  
Blair arches a brow. “What did Humphrey have to say?”  
  
“We needed to clear the air on some things” Serena tells her and gestures her to take a seat on the chair beside the bed. “In fact, we were talking about the night you left him”  
  
Blair presses her lips tightly, but does what’s asked of her. She’s not in the mood to listen and be judged about the way she treated Dan.  
  
Serena swallows hard. “That night, I was really upset…And I did something awful”  
  
“Okay….” Blair draws out, waiting for Serena to go on.  
  
“I manipulated Dan into thinking you chose Chuck and had sex with him” Serena confesses.  
  
Her eyes shut tightly for a few wavering moments, feeling hot wet tears forming. “And here I was feeling guilty about everything” A long sigh leaves her lips as she meets Serena’s eyes. “You sure showed me” Blair smiles sadly. “No man can withstand the seduction of Serena Van Der Woodsen”  
  
Serena’s eyes drift away. “I would argue he was more angry than seduced”  
  
Blair leans back to the chair and her brows furrow in deep thought, pain even. “I hate you”  
  
  
  
  
  
One day on a late September afternoon, he calls Dorota and requests her to bring the things he left at Blair’s place. It’s time to move on and this is the closure Blair will never give him.  
  
Dan hands Dorota a box of Blair’s possessions. “Thanks for doing this”  
  
“Mr. Dan, don’t you think it be best if you drop this off yourself?” Dorota inquires in her polish accent.  
  
“Look, I love you Dorota, but Blair” Dan’s eyes squint in worry. “Not so much”  
  
“But she miss you” Dorota protests.  
  
Dan stares at her skeptically. “Has she said that?”  
  
“No, but I know. Maid’s intuition” Dorota explains, leading Dan to chuckle. “Oh Mr. Dan. She’s very unhappy”  
  
Dan sighs and rubs his face tiredly. “Dorota, you can’t share things like this with me”  
  
Dorota’s features soften. “It makes me sad you feel that way”  
  
“I know, but I’m really hurt right now and this is the only way for me to get over her” Dan says as his eyes soften.  
  
She places her hand on Dan’s arm and smiles sadly. “It’s okay Mr. Dan. Maybe there will come a day when you two will see what I see”  
  
Dan doesn’t know what to say. So he stands there and watches Dorota leave with Blair’s things.  
  
  
  
  
  
After Serena’s little confession, they stop talking to each other. She’s hurt, frustrated, and confused. Nothing makes sense any more. The only thing that does is Chuck. She made the right decision, that much is clear.  
  
“Ms. Blair”  
  
Blair lifts her eyes from the sketch she was drawing for her mother to see Dorota standing by the doorway, holding a cardboard box.  
  
“Mr. Dan ask for his things and request I give this to you” Dorota says.  
  
Her maid places the box on the end of her bed and smiles sadly before heading out of the room. She leaves her sketches and for the box full of her things. There is everything she has ever left at the loft, from DVDs, to books, to the gifts she’s given him. He even packed a headband she left at his place during her high school days.  
  
It’s officially starting to hit her that she may have just lost somebody really important. Somebody who she wouldn’t have survived without last year.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dan drinks every day now, but for some reason, he has yet to gain a pound. Of course that’s one of the few thing he’s noticed because there isn’t much else to think about these days. He has no social life anymore considering the amount of time it’s taking to edit his novel. People do still call him, but he just presses the power button on his phone and lets it go silent, unless of course it’s Serena. He worries for that girl.  
  
A lot of the voicemails are from Nate, begging him to open the door, or at least pick up the phone. But Dan can’t do it. Nate’s best friends with Chuck and he doesn’t want to put his friend in the middle. Besides, spending time with Nate will lead to him having to see Blair and that’s the last thing in the world he wants.  
  
  
  
  
  
Even though he’s had his fair share of great memories in the loft, he decides it’s time to find a place for himself. Everyone has to move out from their childhood home eventually, and he thinks the time is now. Especially since everything in the loft reminds him of Blair now.  
  
He’s reached a conclusion on their short relationship. Blair needed someone to be there for her and love was never in play. It’s that simple and even though it hurts to think that way now, he knows it will hurt less in the future because of it.  
  
It takes Dan a month before he finally finds what he’s looking for. He decides on a studio apartment in Soho. It has high ceilings, an upstairs, and a great view in both the living room and the bedroom.  
  
For the first time in a long time, something makes him smile.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Do you want to go see a movie?” Blair asks out of breath as she stares up the ceiling.  
  
Chuck’s sitting on the edge of the bed, buttoning up his shirt. “I can’t, I found a lead that may help me get back on the inside track of Bass Industries”  
  
All he talks about is himself. He keeps reassuring her she’s the most important thing in the world to him, but she’s seriously starting to have her doubts.  
  
Blair sits up, and frowns, covering her up body with the duvet. “We never do anything”  
  
Chuck rises to his feet. “We’ll have all the time in the world once I regain power in Bass Industries”  
  
“Why is this so important to you?” Blair asks.  
  
“We’ve been over this a countless number of times. Don’t you want to be equals?”  
  
“I already think we’re equals” Blair says quietly.  
  
“We’ll talk about this later” Chuck replies and rushes out of the bedroom.  
  
It’s her day off and one that she desperately needed. She sighs and scrolls through her phone, looking through her contacts. Her minions are still in college, and time has only made them grow apart even further. In all honesty, they probably hate her now for all the crap she put them through.  
  
Over the years, she’s made more enemies than friends. However, she knows life must go on. She tosses her duvet aside and decides to get dressed to head for the movie theater alone.  
  
  
  
  
  
Blair slides her credit card across the counter. “One ticket to The Place Behind The Pines please”  
  
She waits for the cashier, hearing the chatter behind her grow. They’re with their parents, friends, and significant others. She can’t help but feel sad at how pathetic it is to be watching a Ryan Gosling movie alone, by herself.  
  
“Here you go, enjoy”  
  
Blair takes her ticket and sighs.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dan needs to take the edge off. The pressure coming from his publisher is starting to wear on him and being cooped up in his studio apartment for months can’t be a good thing. Earlier in the week, he received an invitation from Nate to a party he was holding in his the penthouse he shares with Chuck, but Dan’s hesitant to attend because Nate has made it clear Blair wasn’t happy to learn about him sleeping with Serena.  
  
Oh well. If she hates him, then she won’t talk to him or look at him and that makes his life a whole lot easier.  
  
  
  
  
  
He sees Blair laughing with her circle of friends and showing off the rock on her finger. Blair Bass just sounds wrong on so many levels. That’s when it finally hits him. Dan can push them away all he wants, but in the end they will all be happy while he’ll always be the bitter one.  
  
Staring at her brings back horrible memories and the whole situation of Chuck and Blair irritates him.  
  
When it comes down to it, Vanessa was right about them and the fact that his sister had been thrown out of New York for losing her virginity to Chuck was when he should’ve realized that they will never look at him as an equal. Blair and Chuck are one of a kind, and he was probably some pawn that enhanced their sex drive.  
  
“Dan?”  
  
He comes back to reality and loosens his grip on the glass. To his surprise, Nelly Yuki decided to make an appearance.  
  
“Holy crap” Dan furrows his brows in surprise. “Nelly?”  
  
He can barely recognize her without those thick framed glasses.  
  
“Yeah” Nelly laughs a little.  
  
“You look great. Yale has been good to you” Dan says and smiles.  
  
“Nah” She waves him off harmlessly. “It’s called laser eye surgery”  
  
It’s nice to see her. Nelly was always shy around him and he had no idea it had to do with a crush. Of course he’s happy to learn that he never figured it out because to be honest, he was too stuck on Serena at the time to consider anything else a serious relationship.  
  
Dan smiles and stares down at the bourbon in his glass, thinking back on his years in high school when things were much easier.  
  
“She doesn’t deserve you, you know” Nelly tells him, leading Dan to lift his confused eyes from the bourbon. “That’s what I always liked about you. You weren’t like them”  
  
“I tried not to be” Dan says quietly. “But when you chose to surround yourself around them, then what makes you any different?”  
  
“Have you though?” Nelly asks inquisitively.  
  
Dan takes a moment to look back on his life and the answer is fairly obvious. There’s a reason he’s always felt like an outsider.  
  
“I suppose I haven’t” Dan confesses.  
  
It’s been a while, but he’s not actually thinking about Blair or concerned with what she’s doing at the party. Rather, he has the urge to talk to Nelly and ask her about Yale.  
  
  
  
  
  
Blair has only had eight hours of sleep for the past two weeks. She’s been working around the clock on the Designs for her mother’s upcoming runway fashion show. Finally, the deadline of her sketches has arrived and she’s sitting in her mother’s office, watching Eleanor review the sketches.  
  
Eleanor slams the book shut and takes her glasses off to carefully place them aside. She then intertwines her hands on the desk and meets her daughter’s eyes. It’s business as usual and the bond of blood doesn’t exist.  
  
“What do you think of these?” Eleanor asks.  
  
“I don’t know” Blair eyes drift down to her hands. “I did the best I could”  
  
“I think you did a good job” Eleanor says.  
  
Blair lips curl into a smile as she looks up, trying not to appear overly excited. “Really?”  
  
There is no better feeling than her mother’s approval. She’s been starving for it and maybe Waldorf Designs will be the thing that brings them together.  
  
Eleanor places her glasses back onto her eyes and reaches for Blair’s sketch book. “I’ll have Chloe look at them and let her decide if she wants to add any of these with her designs”  
  
Chloe is her mother’s favorite designer. After hiring her only recently, they’ve been bonding over the past few months and have the same taste in designs. She hates the girl.  
  
“Excuse me” Blair wiggles her head, wondering whether she’s hearing correctly. “Are you telling me that Chloe is the one who will be running the show?”  
  
“Yes, I needed a backup plan just in case you failed” Eleanor says distractedly as she looks over Blair’s sketches.  
  
Blair stares at her mother like she’s crazy “But you said it’s going to be my show”  
  
Eleanor lifts her eyes away from the sketches. “And I thought your designs would be better. But they’re not, and I think going with Chloe is what’s best for this company”  
  
Blair’s mouth parts open in surprise. She’s never felt more insignificant in her life. All that hard work amounted to nothing. But given the circumstances, she’s left with no choice but to keep her opinion to herself.  
  
“Okay, well thank you for taking the time to review my work” Blair says softly, trying not to breakdown in front of her mother and starts to gather her things.  
  
“No problem dear, I’ll hand these over to Chloe” Eleanor tells her.  
  
Blair gives her mother a small smile and nods before heading out of the office. She leaves straight for the bathroom. Her throat feels tight and dry, making it impossible to breathe. All she has done for her mother is work overtime and give her everything she has. And yet, she may just not be good enough.  
  
The only thing Blair can think of is to hide. She steps into the bathroom stall and locks it. With a desperate need to talk to someone, she looks through her contacts, but none of the names appear comforting.  
  
She calls Chuck but sadly only gets voicemail as she sits on the toilet. He’s never there for her when she needs him most. It wouldn’t be such a crime for him to pick up the phone while he’s working. She knows she would.  
  
It’s become clear that she’s alone in all of it. She’s facing these challenges head on without any backup. Her feet are swollen and her head is throbbing from the lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion. She’s constantly on edge, feeling like she’s on the cusp of exploding any minute now and more frustrated than she ever has been before.  
  
A warm tear finally rolls down her cheek. For the first time, she admits to herself she’s overworked. So she lets go and her eyes become flooded with tears, leading her to hear the echoes of her cries in the bathroom alone.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dating Nelly Yuki is different. It feels like he’s in a normal, functional relationship and the word drama doesn’t exist. She’s laid back and very smart. Obviously she isn’t as beautiful as the women he’s dated in the past, but there had to come a point in his life where he wasn’t going from dating Serena Van Der Woodsen to dating a movie star, to a princess. In fact, now that Dan thinks of it, every girl he’s dated had been close to a ten.  
  
He wonders if he’s been shallow and that’s why he’s had so many failed relationships. Besides, not everything is about beauty on the outside. Dan’s learned from his experience that the word attraction doesn’t necessarily mean the looks of a person and since dating Nelly, his attraction for her has only grown.  
The only problem he can find in his relationship with Nelly is the fact that she’s living in Connecticut. However, with him working on a book, a long distance relationship isn’t such a bad thing.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her business trip to Paris ends a week earlier than expected. When Blair steps out of the airport, she requests the driver take her to Chuck’s. They’ve been so consumed with their respective careers, they haven’t had time to see each other in weeks.  
  
The drive back to the city isn’t very long. She orders her driver to take her things back to her penthouse so that Dorota can take them up to her bedroom and heads into the building. When Blair sets foot in the foyer of Chuck’s home, she hears low moans coming from the hallway and there is a sinking feeling forming in her heart.  
  
She shuts her eyes for a quick second to catch her breath and then swallows hard before quietly making her way down the hallway in the hopes it’s just Nate with one of his skanks. With each step closer to Chuck’s office, the moans only get louder. She even hears the witch scream his name.  
  
A warm feeling begins to grow in her eyes as her shaky fingers grip onto the sliver knob. She takes a breath and turns the knob to see Chuck pounding into a woman, who is splayed across his desk.  
  
She feels numb; completely numb. She quietly shuts the door and heads back to the living room to sit on the red leather sofa. There is no one to blame but herself. She obviously has been doing something wrong and the night on the roof is coming back to her.  
  
Blair sits there for a good hour, staring out the window, overlooking the city.  
  
“Blair?”  
  
She looks over her shoulder to see him in a robe, carrying wet hair. He’s been in the shower and she wonders if the woman she saw earlier joined him.  
  
“Did I miss something?” She asks, wet eyes going back and forth like she’s crazy.  
  
Chuck sighs and sits beside her. “This isn’t what it looks like” He then places his hand on her thigh and lets his eyes soften. “This is business. It has nothing to do with us”  
  
“What?” Blair asks, hating how hurt and desperate she sounds; how frail she feels.  
  
“Her name is Lana and she is one of my father’s closest advisers” Chuck explains and stares into her eyes. “She knows something Blair, and if I can get close enough to her, she’ll tell me”  
  
Blair places her fingers on her forehead to cover her face and shakes her head.  
  
“I warned you Blair. I cannot let you be a distraction” Chuck reminds her.  
  
“I feel like Bass Industries is more important to you than our relationship” Blair barley whispers. It hurts too much to talk.  
  
Chuck’s nostrils flare as he tries to remain at peace. “There is no us without Bass Industries”  
  
When push comes to shove, Chuck will always choose his company over her. No matter how many times he reassured in the past, she always knew it was a lie but sometimes facing things head on can be impossible.  
  
She slaps him across the face and her features harden as she breathes deeply through her nose. She rises to her feet and storms back over to the elevator.  
“You’ll come back Blair. You always do” Chuck shouts loud enough for her to hear.  
  
  
  
  
  
His book comes out and it’s surprisingly does well on the first week. He really thought he was going to look back on his life and learn he had just gotten lucky with Inside. Fortunately, that isn’t the case and he can already see the dollar signs as he sits and takes in the line waiting for his signature.  
  
The calls on his phone have tripled since the release of the book, and he decides it’s better to just ignore them, including Serena. However, Nate and Serena get crafty and start posting on his wall through Facebook, leaving Dan to sigh. They don’t seem upset, rather, they seem worried.  
  
Against his better judgment, he finally gives in and invites them out for dinner.  
  
  
  
  
  
When Dan steps out of the shower, he towels himself off, and buttons up a plaid flannel. It took some time, but he feels normal again. He wipes the steamed mirror and sees the reflection of his face before him. A smile becomes of his lips. His skin is glowing, his hair is just about the right length, and he looks happy.  
  
Just as he places his wet towel in the laundry bag, he surprisingly hears a knock coming from downstairs. It couldn’t be Nate and Serena since he told them to come later in the evening.  
  
When he descends down the staircase and opens the front door, his breath hitches. Blair Waldorf is standing before him and she doesn’t appear very happy. She’s in this white Burberry trench coat that displays how slim her waist is.  
  
They stare at each other silently for a good minute but her face remains hard the entire time. She’s skinnier and paler than he remembers, but still beautiful. That much he can’t deny, no matter how much she hurt him.  
  
“You look good” are her first words.  
  
“How’d you find my address?” Dan asks, deciding to get straight to the point.  
  
“Nate” She tells him.  
  
“Is there something I can do for you?” Dan asks, digging his nails deeper into the wood and trying to remain calm.  
  
“You have sixty seconds to explain why I shouldn’t call my lawyer”  
  
Dan tilts his head and stares at her in disbelief, but she continues to look at him like he’s insane and there is nothing wrong coming from her end.  
  
He shakes his head and coolly strides over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of beer from the fridge. Of course she follows him. It’s rather obvious she’s determined to get an answer out of him. However, there isn’t any logic behind her curiosity. To be honest, he never imagined Blair would even notice or care. He thought she would think of him as some bitter loser and enjoy her chardonnay with Chuck.  
  
A crease forms in-between her brows. “Since when do you drink during the day?”  
  
“Don’t even go there” Dan warns as his jaw clenches.  
  
She gets the message and looks away, biting her cheeks.  
  
Dan takes a swig and then turns his body to face her. “I think you should go home”  
  
“Why would you write something like that?” She stares at him incredulously. “It such a utterly disgusting and childish thing for you to do”  
  
“I chose to write something objective for once, and if you think that I presented you badly, then maybe you should take a look in the mirror” Dan answers, lifting both hands as he speaks thoroughly.  
  
“You wrote me as a vein bitch” Blair replies slowly.  
  
“There are both good and bad things written about your character, you’re just choosing to pay attention to the bad” He explains and gestures over to the door. “Now that I given you an answer, will you please leave?”  
  
Blair narrows her eyes at him furiously. “You know, at least I took the high road and made an effort to try to mend things between us”  
  
“The high road? What are you talking about?” Dan stares at her in disbelief. Sometimes she’s full of shit and her delusional behavior really gets under his skin. “The only reason you even left those emails and voicemails was because you felt like you owed me”  
  
Blair folds her arms across her chest defiantly. “If you think that, then you obviously never knew me at all”  
  
“No” Dan shakes his head in disagreement. “I know you better than anyone, that’s the problem. If you actually cared about me, you would’ve broken up with me in person long before the diary came out”  
  
A fake smile appears on Blair’s lips. “Stay envious Humphrey, it looks good on you. Now stand your moral high ground and pretend you didn’t sleep with Serena”  
  
He’s not going to continue spatting back and forth with an immature girl because it will only lead to a pointless argument that he doesn’t have the time for.  
  
“You know where the door is” Dan points to the door with his bottle before turning around and heading up the staircase.  
  
As he climbs up the staircase, all he can think about is the amount of gall she has. Rather than bothering him, she should be living out her epic love tale with Chuck. A sigh escapes his lips. There is going to be a lot of drinking tonight.  
  
“You found yourself a nice rebound” Blair smirks, leading him to stop abruptly and turn around.  
  
His shoulders starts to tense. “What did you just say?”  
  
“You don’t love her. She’s just another girl you’ll put on a pedestal before dumping her after you get bored”  
  
“Blair, I don’t care” Dan rubs his forehead tiredly. “Go home”  
  
He can’t even look at her anymore. She’s always going to be reminder of rock bottom.  
  
Blair places her hand on her waist and laughs mockingly. “How am I supposed to believe you actually like being around that vile floozy?”  
  
It’s right there he knows the right decision is made. Dan is not going to allow the air he breathes to become toxic. He huffs out a breath of disbelief, shaking his head, and heads back up the staircase.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Why the hell would you give Blair my address?” Dan asks, staring at them incredulously.  
  
Serena looks over to Nate, tilting her head in disbelief. “You didn’t”  
  
“I was hoping things could be back to normal between us” Nate explains and shrugs his shoulders, brows furrowed in worry.  
  
Nate’s an idiot. There’s not much else to add or any reason to overthink the situation. He turns his body away from them and takes a long swig from his bottle of beer. His brain is already starting to feel a little fuzzy.  
  
Dan shakes his head and his eyes widen in realization. “She came here and attacked me. Not to mention some of the things she said about Nelly were uncalled for”  
  
“She what?” Serena inquires in surprise, leading Dan to turn his head over to Serena. “I’m going to have a word with her”  
  
“It was the weirdest thing ever” He turns around with confusion reeking out on his features. “Like, isn’t she with Chuck? Shouldn’t she be focusing her attention on him?” Nate grabs the beer bottle from his hand and takes a swig from it. Dan scrunches his face in disgust.  
  
“If you paid any attention, then you would’ve known she called off her engagement last week” Nate fills him in.  
  
“Chuck doesn’t get her was her exact words” Serena adds.  
  
“Wow, you got to love the twist and turns in Chuck and Blair’s love story” Dan replies dryly and gestures towards the door. “Do you guys want to get something to eat?”  
  
Blair and her problems are not a part of his life anymore. It’s rather refreshing not having to deal with her drama. He loved her too deeply to realize she had been walking all over him. The relationship was take, take, and more take. There was no give. Dan would listen to her problems while she would never discuss how his book was doing, or what she thought of it. It was only his career after all.  
  
They decide on sushi, which makes Nate pout, but they have him outnumbered and he’s always been sort of a pushover. During dinner, he learns Nate’s career working for a news outlet firm crashed and burned, leaving him to go back to school. Serena on the other hand has been taking a few courses here and there, but since summer is around the corner, she plans on traveling with some friends.  
  
Dan himself has news. He’s transferring to Yale. After spending the year working on his book, he realized how young he still is. So with two years remaining, he thought Yale would look a lot better on his resume. Besides, he can actually afford it this time around.  
  
They congratulate him, but it doesn’t come off as sincere. Nate is worried they’ll drift apart while he can’t figure what is making Serena so sad regarding it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Blair’s sitting alone by the bar, sipping from her drink and ignoring the chatter occurring behind her. Her mother’s holding a party and since she is the new face of Waldorf Designs, it’s necessary for her to make an appearance.  
  
“Mind if I join you?”  
  
Blair looks over her shoulder to see Chuck and her throat tightens.  
  
He sits on the stool beside her and leans in. “You look amazing Blair”  
  
Her eyes shut and she takes a deep breath through her nose. For the past few weeks, their relationship has become a game like before and every time he wins, she feels like throwing up after. She just can’t seem to shake him off.  
  
“I’m not doing this anymore” She glares.  
  
Chuck leans in, by the shell of her ear. “You say that every time, and yet I’m always pounding into you against the wall within the next hour” He pulls away and she swallows hard. “Or I can just pick up anyone of these randoms”  
  
“If you don’t need me, then why are you always texting me and begging for one more night?” Blair blinks her eyes innocently at him. “Face it Chuck, those skanks just don’t do it for you”  
  
Blair grabs her clutch off the bar and storms out towards the elevator. She wants to let go and breakdown in tears. She shouldn’t have to continue validating how important she is to him.  
  
If they’re meant for one another, then is this what she’s going to be feeling like for the rest of her life?  
  
She’s in desperate need of getting Chuck off her mind. Calling Serena would be awkward. The last time they spoke to one another, it ended in a fight. Serena’s still upset with her for dating Dan in the first place and she’s upset at her best friend for trying to hurt her in that way.  
  
There is only one person Blair can think of to get her mind off Chuck.  
  
  
  
  
  
She arrives at the Empire and hears gunshots. She quickly realizes Nate’s playing a video game and rolls her eyes. However, when she hears a familiar voice, she stops abruptly.  
  
When she sets foot in the entertainment room, she catches sight of Dan hitting a bong while a smiling Nate pauses the game. She clears her throat and their attention suddenly falls on her. Nate’s mouth parts open and she sees Dan roll his eyes as he maintains the smoke in his lungs for as long as he can.  
  
“Blair?” A crease forms in-between Nate’s eyes. “What are you doing here?”  
  
Dan blows the smoke out and stares at her from head to toe. She doesn’t have the same effect on him and the thought is unsettling. He was one of the few to have ever made her feel like she stood out.  
  
“I just wanted to hang out” Blair shrugs her shoulders and places her clutch on the pool table.  
  
Nate looks back at Dan for help, but Dan avoids him and takes another hit from the bong. She doesn’t get what the big deal is.  
  
“You don’t mind being in the same room as Dan?” Nate questions.  
  
She stares at Dan. “It’s been a long time. I’m over it”  
  
Dan picks up a slice of pizza from the box on the coffee table and waves it in front of Blair, attempting to entice her. “We bought pizza”  
  
Blair approaches them tepidly and her small fingers reach for the tray Dan’s holding. Their fingers graze one another and her eyes slowly lift to his face.  
  
“It’s not from Brooklyn is it?” She asks softly and stares into his red eyes.  
  
The corners of his lips curl slightly and she takes it from his hand.  
  
  
  
  
  
By the time the opening credits to the movie start appearing, Blair’s a little drunk from the wine. It’s nice. She can’t say she’s had many nights like the one she’s sitting in now. Her eyes drift over to a smiling Dan. He’s texting away on his phone.  
  
She forgot how funny he can be and how easy it is to smile around him. Her friends have never had a great sense of humor. Their click has always been serious and enjoying each other’s company was commonly a second thought.  
  
“Are you texting Serena?” Nate asks, and leans his head over Dan’s shoulder.  
  
“Yeah, I’m texting her on how she’s missing out” Dan answers distractedly.  
  
Nate nudges his shoulder playfully. “Dude, there is definitely something going on between you two”  
  
Dan shoves his phone back in his pocket and turns his head to stare at Nate. “I have a girlfriend”  
  
“I’m sorry man, but Nelly is no Serena” Nate replies and pats him on the shoulder.  
  
She watches Dan shift uncomfortably and ignore Nate’s remark. There must be some truth to what Nate’s saying because Dan hasn’t denied it. Besides, Dan’s eyes have always betrayed him.  
  
“Who chose to watch this anyway?” Blair folds her arms across her chest and pouts.  
  
“You’ve never seen The Thomas Crown Affair?” Dan asks, turning his attention over to her on the couch.  
  
“No, Pierce Bronson’s version deterred me away” She tells him.  
  
“I just thought this is something we would all enjoy. It has action and crime for Nate, while you get to enjoy the art in this movie” Dan explains.  
  
Blair arches a brow. “And what about you?”  
  
“Um….Steve McQueen is like one of my favorite actors” Dan rubs the back of his head nervously and smiles shyly. “I remember sitting on the floor of my grandparent’s home and watching The Great Escape for the first time, thinking of how much he reminds me of my grandfather”  
  
“That’s cool man” Nate jumps in. “You never talk about your grandfather”  
  
“Because there isn’t much to remember” Dan shrugs his shoulders.  
  
“I don’t remember much about mine either” Blair admits quietly, feeling their knees graze on the couch.  
  
She flutter her eyes over to his and sees him staring at the screen, not noticing the fact that their touching each other. He’s still upset with her, that much is clear. She must be entirely stupid to think they could ever be friends again.  
  
  
  
  
  
Nelly comes back to New York for her summer internship. She’s been patiently waiting for those three little words, but they have yet to leave his mouth. Dating Nelly has been nice, but she just doesn’t do it for him. Their chemistry is off and although they are both very intellectual, they have very little in common. It feels as though their relationship has run its course.  
  
“I broke up with Nelly” Dan says, staring straight ahead at the liquor bottles on the shelf behind the bar and taking a sip from his Bud Light.  
Nate turns his head. “Are you serious?”  
  
He shrugs his shoulders and places the beer bottle aside. “She’s just another girl”  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that” Nate says, brows furrowed in concern.  
  
“Don’t be”  
  
“So where do you go from here?” Nate asks.  
  
“I’m going to start packing for Yale, and pray to god I never run into her” Dan answers as his lips curve slightly, leading Nate to chuckle.  
  
Nelly was supposed to be his in, but now that he doesn’t have one, he’s beginning to worry if he’ll be able to find friends. He’s heard being a transfer student makes it hard to squeeze into a group. Dan doesn’t want to go to school and be an outsider again. Those days were supposed to be past him when high school ended.  
  
“Dude, the Nelly thing was the epitome of a rebound” Nate says and checks out the red head walking past them.  
  
“A rebound would never last six months” He reaches for his wallet and tosses his bills on top of the bar.  
  
“Whatever you say man” Nate replies, clearly not buying it and follows Dan off the stool.  
  
Serena invited them over to her new place for a final send off before he starts living in Connecticut. They decided to grab a quick drink before heading to her place because he wanted some alone time with Nate.  
  
  
  
  
  
He’s standing out in the terrace with Serena, waiting for Nate to finish mixing the drinks. For someone without a job, her apartment sure is nice. Better than his even. It has a pool table, a hot tub out in the terrace, and a view of Central Park. It’s kind of his dream home.  
  
“This place is beautiful” Dan shuts his eyes to the feel of the nice cool breeze on a hot summer night.  
  
“I’m thinking of renting the place out while I stay in Barcelona” Serena tells him, leans her back against the heavy stone railing. She clenches her teeth between her bottom lip, looking just as dazzling as she did when he first laid eyes on her.  
  
It’s nice to be around someone so free and open.  
  
His attention turns over to her. “I’m going to miss you. You’re one of the few people in this world that I feel connected to”  
  
“Darling, I’m just one flight away” Serena replies and he tries to squash that smile tugging at his lips, but it’s too hard with someone like Serena. She makes his him feel at ease with her infectious glow. “You must join me on my trip through the Amazon. I’ll be leaving right as your winter break begins”  
  
Dan eyes her inquisitively. “Who’s going to be there?”  
  
“All that should matter is that I’ll be there” She teases and runs a hand through her golden hair.  
  
Dan chews on his lips, trying to remember why they things between them had ever become bad.  
  
Serena leans in and his eyes fall on her lips. “You know what I really love about you Dan?”  
  
“What?” Dan whispers, as his eyes slowly drift up to her blue eyes.  
  
“You never once stared at my cleavage” Serena tells him softly.  
  
A lump forms in his throat to the sight of her tilting her head and leaning in closer. She’s going to kiss him out on the terrace, with Nate inside. And he doesn’t want to stop her. Spending the past year being friends with Serena has made him realize how amazing she can be.  
  
She plants a kiss on his lips, and lets her lips it linger there for a good ten seconds before pulling away, leaving him to want more.  
  
“I love you” She says barely above whisper, as her gaze remains locked with his.  
  
“I love you too Serena” Dan can’t help but say.  
  
“Alright, this drink is about to blow your motherfucking minds y’all!” Nate shouts jokingly, ruining the moment.  
  
Dan clears his throat and smiles weakly. “I’m sure it will”  
  
Since he’s leaving for Yale, they’re better off leaving things left unsaid. He’s not planning on having a long distance relationship, and he can’t imagine Serena wanting one either. He knows her well, and she’ll want to have no restrictions in Barcelona.  
  
Nate was right. The drinks are amazing. They sit on the floor and begin to share stories Dan had never known regarding their group. For one, he had no idea Chuck forced himself on Serena when they were younger.  
  
“Does Blair know?” Dan asks, sitting indian style on the floor and being part of a circle they formed.  
  
“Ha, she forgave him, just like she forgave him for everything else” Serena answers and takes a sip. He gets the feeling Serena still holds that against Blair. Their relationship is fucked up on so many levels.  
  
“The things is, I’ll always be there for Chuck, but I’ll also keep in mind that I can never trust him either” Nate adds and sighs sadly.  
  
He thinks that might be a jab regarding what happened with Blair when they were in High school.  
  
The sound of the elevator abruptly interrupts their conversation and they’re attention falls on the foyer, where they see Blair clicking her heels over to them. She went with a pink polka dotted half sleeve blouse and skirt, leaving his mouth a little dry. Just as she reaches the carpet, she takes off her heels and sits right beside him.  
  
“Hey B” Serena smiles and places her hand on top of Blair’s thigh. “I’m glad you made it”  
  
Blair reciprocates Serena’s smile. “I’m glad you invited me” Her eyes widen “I needed a break from work. Mother has me working in the wee hours” Her eyes then drift over to Nate. “Nate”  
  
“Blair” Nate greets and lets a grin form on his lips.  
  
“Humphrey, it’s been a while” Blair says dryly, with a hint of disgust.  
  
He wants to roll his eyes, but fights off the urge. He’s not going to give her a reaction.  
  
“Hey” Dan greets coolly, eyes on the carpeted floor.  
  
When Blair arrives, it’s not the most comfortable get together. He has no idea what she’s doing there. However, it’s doesn’t come as a surprise considering she has a knack for ruining his life.  
  
The topic of Chuck never gets brought up again, and instead, he has to sit through listening to Blair brag about her life. Everyone gets it. She’s rich and successful. Dan just basically rolls his eyes for the remainder of the night and lets her win. Not only has she broken his heart, but now she’s taking the attention away from one of his final nights in New York.  
  
What a witch.  
  
When his eyes start to feel heavy, he rises to his feet and says his goodbye. Of course Blair decides to join him. Why not right. He doesn’t even get the opportunity to give Serena a proper goodbye because Blair is hogging most of Serena’s attention.  
  
Dan doesn’t even care anymore. He just wants to go home and binge watch Games of Thrones. At least that will lighten his mood.  
They step into the elevator, and he makes sure to stand on the other side of her, far away as possible. He stays quiet and checks his emails through his smartphone.  
  
“That was fun” Blair says quietly.  
  
Dan brows furrow in a quizzical manner to himself, but then shakes it off and decides to ignore her considering they’re about to go their separate ways.  
  
“To be honest, I didn’t even want to come” Blair smiles to herself and stares down at her purse. “Seeing you makes everything hurt”  
  
“I don’t know why, you ended up getting everything you wanted” Dan replies bitterly.  
  
Blair’s eyes flicker over to him and he sees her swallow hard. “Not everything” He finds it impossible to breathe every time he feels her large doe eyes stare at him like that. “How are things with Nelly?”  
  
He rubs the back of his head nervously. “Um….Not so good. We broke up”  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that”  
  
Dan thinks he must be seeing things because he swears her full red bow lips are curving into a smile.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yale is everything he dreamed of and more. Rather than renting out a place in New Haven, he decided it would be better to live on campus in a dorm because it’ll be easier to make connections that way.  
  
At first, it’s a struggle to make friends, but gets easier as more and more time passes. His roommate is made from a completely different cloth. He’s a bit strange, more of the loner type and doesn’t have many visitors. However, Dan can live with it as long as his roommate picks up after himself.  
  
  
  
  
  
It’s seven O’clock sharp, and he’s enjoying his sandwich in the cafeteria, ignoring the lingering stares he’s receiving from Kathy, Zoe, and Kyle. The liberal intellectual snobs he so calls his friends are upset as usual with his lack of awareness when it comes to girls.  
  
“Must you ruin every friendship I make?” Zoe asks, in her blonde waves and beret.  
  
Dan has been dating around, mostly Zoe’s friends in particular. He’s actually built a taste for brunette’s. Before it was all about blondes for him, but as he’s matured, he’s become more attracted to the dark haired girls. However, he may have small crush on the blonde Zoe, and has only dated her friends to get closer to her.  
  
So far, it appears the strategy has been backfiring.  
  
Dan meets Zoe’s blue eyes. “I want to be with someone I have a connection with. Someone I can spend an entire night talking to without thinking about the party happening down the hall”  
  
Zoe swallows hard, staring into his eyes. “I think everyone wants that”  
  
When his phone vibrates, he breaks his gaze away from Zoe and turns his attention to the screen of his smartphone.  
  
S: I can’t wait to see you :)  
  
A smile becomes of his lips.  
  
“Is that Serena?” Kathy asks, wiggling her faintly red eyebrows.  
  
“Of course it’s her. He always has that ridiculous smile on his face when she texts him” Zoe adds and falls back on her chair, folding her arms across her chest.  
  
He has kept in touch with Serena since school began and she left for Barcelona. They speak through email frequently, and sometimes she’ll even mail him a postcard. Dan had to admit he was pretty lonely in the beginning, but Serena was the one constant for him during the dark days.  
  
“Can you blame him?” Kyle arches a brow and zips up his hoody.  
  
Unfortunately, Kyle’s been in the room during a few of the Skype sessions he’s had.  
  
“So are you going to see her during Winter Break?” Zoe asks.  
  
“Yeah, I’m joining her on this expedition in the Amazon” Dan answers.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dan has to get multiple shots at the doctor’s office before his trip to the Amazon Rainforest. It sucks, but he mans up and takes all the shots necessary.  
  
He emails Blair the story he wrote for her and leaves for the airport. When he gets off his flight, he has to take a bus route on the dirt roads of Brazil to meet Serena. Traveling with Serena is a bit different than traveling with the regular UES girl. She has a specific group of friends, who like her, know how to have a good time. But she also isn’t planning on having them travel through the Amazon in that first class sort of way. It’s going to be camping out in the jungle with the guides she has hired.  
  
It takes a few hours, but Dan finally reaches the stop, and sees Serena waiting before him with the trees of the forest behind her. When he steps out of the bus, he wraps his arms around her and lifts her up to spin her around.  
  
“I’m so happy to see you” Dan murmurs in her golden flower scented hair.  
  
“Me too” Serena whispers, arms wrapped around his neck.  
  
He drops her carefully back to the dirt road, and takes in her twill shorts, as well as her white blouse that covers her arms and elbows. Her shiny hair is still falling on her shoulders and she’s even tanner than he remembers.  
  
“Are you ready for this?” Serena asks, placing her teeth in-between her bottom lip.  
  
Dan swallows hard. “Yeah, I’d say I am”  
  
  
  
  
  
Dan doesn’t think he has ever taken more heavy drugs before. He’s tripping off acid half the time, but the drugs only make the trip more memorable. Seeing the rare caterpillar of the flannel moth, also known as the Donald Trump caterpillar while being high is not something he will ever forget. Although, he can’t picture Serena’s friends being alive for very long.  
  
When everyone’s sleeping in their tents, he sneaks out with Serena they fuck in a lagoon. Sex with Serena is slow and loving. He’s gentle with her. It’s a side that reminds him of his teenage years. There’s no passion, it’s just small laughs and giggles.  
  
They come back, cold and wet, leaving them to start a fire while the others are still sleeping.  
  
“It really freaks me out how you’re not ready to take the next step” Dan says and furrows his brows in deep thought as he feels the skin on his face burn from the fire. “I sometimes wonder if you’ll ever be ready to settle down”  
  
A questionable look forms on Serena’s features. “I don’t understand. How is this not settling down?”  
  
“Because eventually we’re going to have responsibilities. We’ll have jobs and kids and you won’t be able to just jet off to Thailand for a couple of months just because you feel like it” Dan explains.  
  
Serena looks away. “I’m sorry, but I’m not really thinking about those sorts of things right now”  
  
“If you really feel that way, then I don’t know if we’ll ever work” Dan replies and smiles sadly.  
  
  
  
  
  
Summer arrives and his Dad’s waiting for him in Brooklyn. They hug and Dan softens into his father’s arms. He’s happy to still feel like a kid. He is only 22 after all. Graduation is only a year away and his transition into manhood will become official at that point. The thought scares him deeply.  
  
The pull away from each other’s embrace and Rufus pats him on the shoulder. “I’m really proud of you son”  
  
Dan states down to his feet. “Thank you. That means a lot to me”  
  
“So what are your plans for the summer?” Rufus asks.  
  
He literally has four months before school starts again. Unless of course he takes summer classes, but that’s not something he plans on doing. He would rather relax and take his mind off school.  
  
“That’s a really good question” Dan laughs nervously.  
  
“Why don’t you call Nate?” Rufus proposes.  
  
Dan snaps his fingers. “That’s a good idea”  
  
  
  
  
  
Dan unpacks his clothes and rearranges his room a little before dialing Nate’s number.  
  
“Dude” Is the first thing Nate says when he picks up.  
  
“Hey man” Dan starts pacing back and forth in the room.  
  
It’s Nate, but he’s still nervous. They spoke to each other here and there, maybe some Facebook wall postings exchanged between one another even.  
“So you’re back from school and looking for a good time” Nate presumes.  
  
“Actually, I just wanted to catch up” Dan replies, stopping short at a pair of female panties he doesn’t recognize on the floor. His brows furrow in confusion.  
  
Nate chuckles. “Sounds good. It’s a good thing we both took a year off from school at the same time”  
  
That’s right. He completely forgot Nate took a year off school to work for The Spectator. It’s a pleasant surprise. They’ll be spending their entire summer together, and now that he has money, he can even join Nate on his ridiculous trips.  
  
“Why don’t you drop by the Empire?” Nate asks.  
  
“Alright, I’ll see you soon” Dan says and ends the call. He then pokes his head through the doorway of his bedroom. “Dad, whose panties are those on my floor?”  
  
A crease forms in between Rufus’s brows as he turns his head to look at him. “I don’t know, I could ask you the same question?”  
  
Dan shuts his eyes in fear. “Please don’t tell me you had sex in my room”  
  
“How about I don’t say anything at all and we can pretend you never saw it” Rufus replies.  
  
Dan rolls his head back and groans.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dan drops by the Empire building, still in awe of it. Chuck’s taste in art is whack, but everything else is pretty impressive.  
  
“Here you are” Nate says and hands him a beer. He’s in a button down and jeans, dressing just as casually as Dan.  
  
“I want a place just like this” Dan grabs the bottle and takes a swig from it.  
  
“You could use your own bachelor pad” Nate agrees and joins in on taking the place in. “What do you want to do tonight?”  
  
Dan turns back to Nate and smirks. “I don’t know. What do you usually do?”  
  
An amused smile spreads across Nate’s lips. “So you want the Nate Archibald experience?”  
  
“I sure would” Dan answers.  
  
  
  
  
  
Before Dan knows it, summer starts to fly by. Nate was always Dan’s best guy friend, but the past weeks have brought them even closer. Dan learned to sail and it’s more complicated than he could ever imagine. Actually, he sucks at it. His hand eye coordination needs some work.  
  
They drink a lot as well, more than they should, but since they don’t attend the same college, they deemed it necessary to make up for the past school year.  
  
“Dude, that was buckets” Nate says, walking down the street and placing his weight on Dan’s shoulder, as Dan does the same.  
  
They’ve been heavily drinking, and playing beer pong with Nate’s friends from Columbia. The night was epic.  
  
“Honestly, I just closed my eyes and prayed it went in” Dan slurs, feeling as slow as a sloth. A random thought then crosses his mind. “Oh my god, did I ever tell you about this story with Chuck?”  
  
Nate’s eyes brighten. “What story?”  
  
“I was talking to Chuck and I was like... I know we don’t like each other and you think I’m a boring, sheltered nobody” Dan takes a moment to suppress his laughter and prepares to mimic that shady whispery voice of Chuck’s. “And he was like.... I don’t think of you”  
  
“pppppppppft” Nate tries to hold in his laughter, but it comes out and he falls on the cement sidewalk, laughing uncontrollably.  
  
“That’s funny right?” Dan asks, out of breath from laughing so hard.  
  
“Dude, that’s such a burn!”  
  
“I know” Dan nods in confirmation and chuckles. “Where is Chuck anyway?”  
  
Nate carefully rises to his feet and wipes of the dirt on his jeans. “I don’t know man. He’s so weird now”  
  
A crease forms in-betweens Dan’s brows as he tries to maintain his balance. “What do you mean?”  
  
“He’s become so consumed with Bass Industries” Nate sighs and shakes his head in frustration. “Once upon a time Chuck was fun to hang with, but now all he talks about is figuring out a strategy to outdo Bart and Jack”  
  
“That’s no way to live man” Dan says.  
  
“Yeah, I know” Nate agrees as they continue walking down the street. “By the way, we’re heading over to Blair’s”  
  
“What?” Dan stops abruptly, almost falling over, and stares at Nate with his mouth parted open. “Does she know we’re coming over?”  
  
“No, but it’s Blair man” Nate waves Dan off.  
  
“Dude, it’s pretty late” Dan protests.  
  
“Yeah, but who is going to have better food than Blair?”  
  
“Hmmm” Dan rubs his chin, going into deep thought. They literally stand out on the street for a good five minutes before he responds “Good point”  
  
  
  
  
  
They arrive in her penthouse, however she isn’t home. Even though he’s not in the right state of mind, Dan’s unsure whether or not it’s a good idea to rummage through Blair’s fridge.  
  
“Dude” Nate pulls out a cooked Rotisserie Chicken from the fridge. “Let’s reheat this bad boy and go smoke a bowl”  
  
A crease forms in-between his brows. “Okay, but where are you getting the bowl and the weed?”  
  
“Wow, you really are a virgin” Nate says and then places the chicken inside the oven. “Follow me”  
  
They climb the staircase together and head into Blair’s bedroom. It looks exactly the same. She still has the Eiffel Tower painted on her powder blue wall and everything is arranged the same way.  
  
Dan’s eyes squint in worry as he glances over to Nate. “I don’t think this is a good idea”  
  
“Chill, we’re just going to grab my stash” Nate goes over to her walk in closet, leaving Dan with no choice but to follow him.  
  
They set foot in the ridiculously spacious walk in closet, with all the dresses and shoes organized by design and color. Nate steps on one of Blair’s shoe racks to reach the vent while he looks around, drunkenly floating around. The place smells just like her. He hasn’t seen Blair physically since last summer and he has to admit, he misses her scent.  
  
He feels out the end of a dress hanging, and presses his nose to the fabric.  
  
“What are you doing?” Nate asks, breathing a little unevenly as his hand is in the vent.  
  
Dan’s eyes widen, like a boy being caught red handed from stealing from the cookie jar. “Don’t judge me”  
  
“Whatever man” Nate hops off the shoe rack, holding a small wooden trinket box. “Let’s go”  
  
  
  
  
  
He feels pretty fucked up. Alcohol and marijuana should never be mixed. He watches a smiling Nate pull out the tray from the oven and he starts practically salivating at the sight of the bronze chicken. Nate places the chicken on Blair’s marble countertop and they stand in front of it, staring at it for a good two minutes.  
  
“Man, that is one beautiful chicken” Nate says, staring at it in awe.  
  
Dan turns his head to look at Nate. “You do the honors”  
  
Nate grabs a knife, but just as his fingers touch the handle of the knife, they hear the elevator.  
  
“Shit”  
  
They both look at each other, wide eyed.  
  
“What is that smell?” They hear from the foyer. He can imagine Blair scrunching her nose in distaste, wondering why her place smells like weed and lemon garlic.  
  
His heart starts pumping faster and faster with the sound of heels clicking their way over to them.  
  
Unfortunately, Blair isn’t alone. She’s standing there, hands on her hips in a floor length gown with an older blonde who is also in a floor length gown. Her dark brown hair is tied prettily in a bun, hands curled into fists.  
  
“I am so sorry Elizabeth” Blair apologizes and then glares at them. “Clearly, I wasn’t expecting these two buffoons”  
  
“No problem dear, we’ll discuss it another time then” Elizabeth smiles reassuringly at Blair before glancing over to them and eyeing them strangely.  
  
Elizabeth leaves and Blair eyes are filled with rage. She’s breathing through her nose, hard, mostly staring at him.  
  
“Do you two idiots realize you may have lost my mother a client?” Blair stares at them incredulously.  
  
Holy shit, she’s in full bitch mode and he has nowhere to run. Not that he cares because all he can think about is how attractive she is.  
  
“You’re so hot” Dan says and swallows hard, leading Nate to snort.  
  
She scrunches her face in disgust. “Did you bang your head against the cabinet or something?”  
  
“No, he’s just high and a little drunk” Nate tells her.  
  
They’re wasted, but getting into details won’t help their cause.  
  
“Nate, get out” Blair says, jaw clenched hard as her eyes remain on Dan.  
  
“See ya” Nate smirks and salutes Dan playfully before making his way out. “Take it easy on him”  
  
And then he’s gone too, leaving with a boiling hot Blair.  
  
“What am I supposed to do with you?” She starts circling around him, still glaring in pure hatred. “I’m not happy Humphrey”  
  
“Why are you taking it all out on me?” Dan points to himself as a crease forms in-between his brows. “This was Nate’s idea”  
  
“Nate didn’t write send me a well written penthouse letter and then never called” Blair answers, pressing her lips tightly and staring him in the eyes.  
  
Dan blinks. “You never replied to my email”  
  
Her cold exterior breaks and she erupts into a fit of laughter, finger pointing at him. He looks at her like she’s crazy, because she really is.  
  
“So…..” He draws out. “You’re not mad?”  
  
She catches her breath and sighs happily. “No, I’m just having a little fun with you cabbage patch”  
  
“But what about your client?”  
  
Blair meets his eyes, lips curling a little. “I’ll find another one”  
  
Dan matches her smile as his eyes remain still on her. Those old feelings are there lingering and threatening to bubble up on the surface. He takes his time and reaches for the minty Tic Tac’s in his pocket, before finally taking his eyes off her and letting a few mints fall in his mouth.  
  
He hears her laugh as the sound of crunching fills the room.  
  
“Jumping to conclusions a tad early aren’t we” Blair says, attempting to suppress her giggling.  
  
“Do you want get a drink?” Dan asks and swallows hard.  
  
Her lips purse together and everything doesn’t seem so light anymore.  
  
“I think it’s time to cut you off soldier”  
  
“Okay” Dan blinks and nods. “I suppose I should go home”  
  
“That wouldn’t be such a bad idea”  
  
He gets the hint and starts heading towards the elevator. Surprisingly she follows his every step, and every time he looks over his shoulder, she smiles, lips pressed together, and quietly waits for him to continue, leaving a crease to form in-between his eyes. It’s odd, very, very, odd. And yet the worst thing about it is that he it’s the last time he sees her before heading back to school.  
  
  
  
  
  
Blair becomes so consumed with work, she forgets to feel.  
  
One late evening, her driver stops by the curb of her building, the Vosges Royal. With one foot out the door, a cop car passes by, and she hears the loud foreign siren of Paris. For a moment, she thinks back to the sirens of New York, but alas, she knows she must get upstairs.  
  
When she sets foot off the elevator, she finds the living room empty and dark, with only unused royal hand crafted furniture before her. A tired sigh escapes her lips as she grabs her laptop and plops down on the sofa.  
  
She logs into her personal email account. It’s been days since she’s checked it. Typically, she uses her business email and sometimes forgets that her personal account exists. When she logs in, she finds a large sum of unread emails and quickly realizes most are birthday wishes from people posting on her Facebook wall. Five years have now officially passed since being hired by Waldorf Designs.  
  
Her mother threw a surprise birthday party the other day, with it mostly being filled with their employers. She was even introduced to what she thinks is a set up date by her mom. However she has too much pride in being set up by her own mother and sent the man away.  
  
She looks through the comments and becomes hit with a wave of nostalgia. Some just wish her a plain and simple happy birthday, while others inquire upon what she has been up too. It’s hard to decipher between the genuine, and the curious. She assumes most are searching for some juicy gossip they can spread the next time there is a party in New York.  
  
Like every year, Serena wishes her a happy birthday, but with each year passing she feels less and less connected with her ex-best friend. She frowns and shuts the laptop. There is nothing worse than being reminded of memories she wants to forget.  
  
She grabs the remote and turns the TV on. Late at night is when she likes to catch up on shows. Sleep is overrated anyway. She scrolls through the DVR until she finds exactly what she’s looking for. A smile becomes of her lips as she presses play. Dan Humphrey is being interviewed on PBS and she can’t help but be curious as to what he has to say.  
  
The show starts out summarizing his life, from his childhood in Brooklyn, to his first novel. When the scene finally cuts to the host of the show, she sees Dan sitting on a stool. His hair is now long, thick, and curly, like before. She rolls her eyes immediately, but then takes in his top unbuttoned shirt and dark jacket. He’s on TV and yet he still decides not to wear a tie.  
  
They talk about his childhood, his novels. And honestly, she hates to admit she’s deeply entrenched in it. He has become so well put together. From the way he speaks, to how knowledgeable and cultural he has become.  
  
“Obviously when someone like yourself becomes recognized and praised for their work, there are also some critics” The interviewer says.  
  
Dan laughs lightly. “Of course”  
  
“Let’s see here” The interviewer grabs a piece of paper from his desk and stares at the writing. “Nelly Yuki for Vanity Fair is your ex I believe”  
  
“She is” Dan confirms.  
  
“In one article, she writes you will never find your other half because you’re looking for something that doesn’t exist”  
  
Dan licks his lips and smiles. “I used to think my relationships failed because I had been so busy with career, but as more time has passed, I’ve come to realize I’m the problem, so yeah, she’s right”  
  
“She also claims Claire Carlisle is your Achilles Heel” The interviewer says and places the paper down. “What do you think about that?”  
  
She watches Dan shift uncomfortably and swallow hard. “I don’t think she’s my Achilles Heel. I think quite the opposite actually. I grew up a lot after that relationship and I think my work speaks to that”  
  
She presses her knees to her chest, and slowly starts to fall back on old memories of a time she was supposed to hate him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Everyone’s talking about it. It took five years, but the daughter of Eleanor Waldorf has stepped down from Waldorf Designs and left the states for good.  
  
She moves all of her belongings to the Paris penthouse and calls it home. Money is the least of her problems, and it gives her the time to decide what she wants to do. She picks up a few hobbies, like cooking, and even starts horseback riding again. Eventually, she comes to the decision of opening up her own Art Gallery.  
  
Her life soon becomes consumed of searching for art that meets her perfectionist standards and another year quickly passes by.  
  
One late summer day, when she locks the outside of her Art Gallery, she finds a flyer placed under her windshield wiper. She grabs the flyer off her car, but before she can crumple it, she sees Dan’s name. He’s visiting the local library to sign and promote his new book.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her hands are shaking as she stands outside the library on a warm summer day. Thinking about him makes her feel old, another lifetime even. It was period when she was living out her fairytale and enjoying the twists and turns that came with Chuck, Louis, and Dan. She doesn’t think she would enjoy that much now, nor would her heart be able to handle it.  
  
She opens the door and hears the bell above the doorway ring. Her eyes scatter around, searching for direction. The library appears empty, and there is no trace of anyone currently working the front desk. She does however find a printed arrow taped to the old worn out bookshelf and follows it over to a staircase leading to the basement, where she can hear hints of chatter.  
  
When she arrives in the basement, she sees a line and decides to join them. It’s impossible to make Dan out with someone always covering him and requesting a signature. She catches glimpses, like the simple steel blue dress shirt he’s wearing, or how his sleeves are rolled up.  
  
Eventually, her time comes and she watches him hand the woman her book back before his eyes drift to her. She takes a step forward and places his book on top of the desk between them.  
  
“Hi” Dan greets, mouth parted open in surprise.  
  
Her eyes shyly wander away as a coy smile spreads across her lips. “Hi”  
  
His lips curve slightly. “I didn’t know you were a fan”  
  
She places her teeth in-between her bottom lip to suppress her laughter and watches him sign the first page of her copy.  
  
“I really liked it” She tells him.  
  
He shuts the book before handing it back to her and meets her eyes. “It was about time I made up for the last one right?”  
  
This time, she can’t stop herself from grinning. She takes her copy and spins around, realizing it was worth seeing him.  
  
“Wait”  
  
She turns back around and lifts an eyebrow.  
  
“Would you like to grab lunch?” He asks and his face turns hopeful. “Please”  
  
She nods, stepping back slowly and tells him she’ll be waiting upstairs.  
  
  
  
  
  
They walk to her favorite café, and he trails behind. Being in another country with Dan is a unique experience. Serena would laugh and flirt around, like she always would, but Dan takes everything in as though it’s another world. It’s like he’s never been in Paris before.  
  
She turns around and begins walking backwards because Humphrey is having trouble keeping up with her pace.  
  
“When do you have to leave?”  
  
“This was my last stop” Dan answers and his eyes linger back up to the buildings. “How long have you been in Paris?”  
  
“I had been coming and going for the most part, but after I stepped down from Waldorf Designs, I’ve called Paris my home since”  
  
A smirk slowly spreads across his lips. “Paris is always a good idea”  
  
He says things that only he would know. If he wrote that in a letter with no signature and dropped it off in her mailbox, she would know it came from him because no one in the world would know how much those words mean to her.  
  
Aubrey Hepburn is not only her idol, but she is also a reminder of a period where everything in her life was perfect. It was a time where her dreams were still possible and her parents were together.  
  
She smiles back at him and turns around to continue walking towards the café.  
  
They sit down, outside the café by the table. The waitress provides them with two menus, but she spends the entire time watching at him look through his. His skin is still milk white, like hers, and of course he still hasn’t added a pound to his body. However, she’s happy to see he cut his hair once again. It’s shorter, much cleaner and accentuates his chiseled features.  
  
Dan’s eyes flicker up off the menu. “I like what you did with your hair”  
  
She tries not to smile and avoids making any eye contact. To say that compliment pleases her would be an understatement. She spent hours working on her hair this morning and used gel to part it slightly on top while making sure there was a heavy curl on the end. In actuality, she rarely ever uses gel.  
  
He leans back against the chair and shoves his hands in his pockets. “So what have you been up to?”  
  
“I opened up my own art gallery” She tells him, finger twirling a strand of hair. “It’s nothing like running a multinational company, but it keeps me busy”  
  
“That sounds like fun”  
  
“Oh, it is” She nods and watches his lips curve slightly. “What is better than discovering the potential in an art piece?”  
  
“No, I know” Dan agrees and nods. “My dad loved running that gallery in Brooklyn, but I think my mom kind of ruined it for him”  
  
“Yes, your mother was quite a witch”  
  
He clears his throat and sits up straight. “She can’t be that bad. Jenny seemed happy in the Hudson”  
  
Her mouth parts open in brief surprise, before she closes it and shifts uncomfortably. “Right, Jenny….I totally forgot about that”  
  
“No worries” Dan shrugs his shoulders. “She’s doing well. She just recently opened up a clothing store in Brooklyn and it’s been pretty successful”  
  
“That’s good to hear” Blair says with the all the excitement she can muster.  
  
Dan frowns. “You’re still upset with her”  
  
“No” She shakes her head, eyes shut tightly. “I don’t think Jenny likes me very much and that makes me sad”  
  
“Why?” Dan asks and chuckles.  
  
She meets his eyes and realizes he doesn’t get it.  
  
“So” Her eyes widen in excitement. “How long are you staying in Paris?”  
  
A smirk spreads across his lips. “You haven’t changed a bit”  
  
“Me” She points to herself, fluttering her long eyelashes as she feigns innocence.  
  
Dan laughs, tilting his head slightly back before shaking his head and meeting her eyes. “Yes, you”  
  
She presses her lips tightly and frowns. “I’m just curious about the length in time you are staying. See I have a life Humphrey. Obviously, it’s something you’re incapable of”  
  
He leans in, lips purse, and she can’t help but swallow hard at his good looks. “You’re deflecting”  
  
“So?”  
  
“Okay, I’ll play along” He runs a hand through his hair and leans back, crossing one leg over the other. “I’m supposed to be heading back to New York tonight” His eyes then drift over to his nails. “But since we’ve run into each other, I may have to delay the flight for a couple of days, or maybe months…We’ll play it by ear”  
  
She chews on her lip in an attempt to fight a smile, but who is she kidding, she’s ecstatic.


End file.
